Our area was under attack, yet again today, as more of these dumb activists launched their third lawsuit against the federal government regarding our Manna refuge. They allege, this time that the gubment needs to hand over documents from the "sad days" of the site in operation, regarding illegalities the plant committed in the face of federal and state laws and regulations.
"It's getting to the point that I can't even go outside without someone yelling that I'm a dumba--" said Leigh McBitchyFace, formerly of Peak Drive, and now of the development along W 92nd. "My husband and I love to buy and sell houses here in Cansellus, and one of these days, we'll actually make a profit at closing" she added. "As long as three banks are willing to mortgage me, I can't see any risk to sitting here and waiting to make my fortune" she quipped while fronting her child, Bush, to the camera. "This is my petri dish. As long as she grows up big and healthy, I can conquer whatever these weird hippies have to say." She continued, "the gubment cleaned up this area to sparkling clean standards years ago, and I don't see why any one would have issue with us and I think the area gets a bad rep."
Our reporter was scratching her head as she left the scene. Data pulled from the MLS shows that in fact Cansellus residents have the slowest appreciation of the entire metropolitan area, and we are still waiting for someone to make money at closing when they sell. It is our position, that while you certainly are all encouraged to stay in the area, we don't want you to have any big, fake ideas about the area. We exist to take your money. If you prove the naysayers wrong, so be it. But have no misconceptions about your investment.
This is a rapidly developing story, and we expect updates very soon,.
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