Driving along Noble this afternoon, residents were intrigued when a lemonade stand emerged in front of the Conforming Happy Peoples Meeting Center in Cansellus. However, residents were less than amused by the product being peddled by little Marjorie, 8, of 95th Drive. Born the sparkle in her parents eyes, David & Stefanie let it slip to our scoop reporter, "well, she's always been a little slow, and a little bit on the sketchy side, and at this point we hope that we can blame the Plutonium dust on some of this."
Guests to the stand reported seeing a very sticky tabletop, flies, and a suspicion Marjorie was re-using cups without even a courtesy rinse. Sketch encounters included more than few residents reporting that while the $ 1.00/cup price was fair, beaming Marjorie was very forceful on recommending that people upgrade their drinks to "something with a kick" for a $ 5.00 fee. That kick, it turns out was nothing but bargain-basement quality Vodka. A very horrified Monica of Orion Way says her "face nearly turned green when she realized she was drinking well vodka in front of her neighbors at 1 pm." Monica also added "it pisses me off too that she's short pouring."
Another, unidentified man, decked out in a stupid cycling outfit with stereotypical blacked out sunglasses, stopped just long enough to say this "That little girl better be careful. Hate to see a jackelope get her..." before riding off into the hodgepodge of houses further east in the neighborhood.
Our beloved Rocky Flats Lounge, our one and only nuclear night life spot, has sadly suffered severe fire damage. We are told the owner plans to rebuild, including a new dart board and dart, but in the interim, our community is left with the age old problem of drinking alone at home. Stay strong people.
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