Plutonium Tollway Continues to Progress

Our field reporters spoke with Billy Bob, the fragile Deputy City Manager for Rocky Flats City today to discuss the progress on the tollway, which has been in the planning stage for the last two hundred and five years.  "We're making great progress now." He continued on "our founding wild west pioneers dreamed of one day having a twenty lane wide high speed toll way for horse & carriages in this here spot, and now we are in 2017, with 95% progress" as he pointed to a dirt embankment north of the Cansellus neighborhood.

In the recent year, a planning commission has been established to keep the public abreast of the progress and to host both public input and community sharing sessions.  We asked Billy, "will public input or potential criticism potentially impact the direction of the plans submitted to the government?"

Startling us, Billy quickly drew a shot gun off his right hip, while cocking it one handed in mid air in front of him, before pointedly looking at our reporter and saying "I said sharin' session, not decision session."

Slowly backing away while keeping our eyes on him (kids, never take your eyes off crazy), we skipped on over to the Refuge to go bug our favorite refuge Manager, David Kisass.

We found him and some crew members, sitting on the ground in a circle on a spot of barren land.  They were building a dirt-castle town.  Hoping not to frighten the brood, we slowly approached and announced "David, we want to talk to you about the tollway."

"Go away!  We're busy!"  Trying to get to his level, our reporter knelt down next to David, and noticed a recent storm had left a puddle on the outside of the 'town'.  What's that water David? "It's Lake Shutdahellup.'  We realized we weren't going to get any further and left.  

We will of course share when we have more information on this topic.