Rocky Flats State University launches multi-city health study to examine nuclear effects on residents.

Well, well.  Looks like those science-types are getting their way with a health study of the people who lived downwind from our precious communities in the last 40 years.  Now, we don't want our community to worry about the potential results.  We remind people that the radiation in the ground is already, like, 25years old.  Yes, the media and science folk are going to say in their squeaky voices "but the radiation lasts for thousands of years..." but we say, "Prove it."  And that is just what our residents are doing.  We live on ground zero, and hold our heads up high every day.  Yes, the results of this study could plummet our property values to nothing, but we as a community live on a soil-bed of hope, and some alpha radiation, and we're willing to risk it.

Local Realtor, Shirley Seller, had this to say "Sell now.  For the love of God, sell."  But local resident Trey of Devinney Street says "Toxic, shoxic.  Those tree huggers will do anything to keep our kind of people from developing gorgeous lands like the area we live in."  Overhearing this, Environmental Advocate Alesya N. Viromente, quipped "The hell you talking abut Trey?  I have a PhD, drive an S-Class Mercedes, live in a nicer house in a safe area, and have tried to show you the evidence we have.  Don't be throwing no shade, you common fool..."  Ouch.

This is sure to be an interesting story as it develops.